go ahead and leave, there's nothing left to loose.

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Diny Romano,
That's my big name, as you can see. Its easy to pronounce , just blurt it out. 180696

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The many exits

Amirah Arinah Dayah Dini Emmy Farisah Fatihah Gurpreet Icah Nadiah. Nanaa Nadia Roszima Sarrah Sarah E Shaira Sari Sofia Syaza
Wanie


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Way long before

Previous Posts:
idk I love someone who is an asswipe What now? I just can't figure it out Dont want to let you down What is it with me What this may seem ? Perfection of your face slows me down Rejoice and love yourself today It's been a year since. LOL Shut up.


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Skin and banner by Gabby! Raw image from kseoul. Date header inspired by swsfen! Inspiration from image and mymostloved (Denise!)

idk
Thursday, October 31, 2013 @ 3:32 AM

whats the point of moving on if i still love you. You're insane. idek if i can change into anything else better now. I'm going to be busy. Thats for sure. But you, you will never be the sweet guy I once loved because all you going to do is complain about it. Maybe one day I will stop loving you but now is not the time.
I realize so many things now that I should have before. You changed. You're busy. You need to do anything and everything that doesnt got to do with me all the time. I was breathing down your neck. I was not an understanding person. I wasnt capable of comforting anyone who needs some word of wisdom or to even cheer you up. I was pretty much a useless girlfriend who probably thought of herself  more and I know why. Because I felt like you were the only person who could actually want to love me more than me. And I took that for granted. I had never loved myself enough to take care of myself. Thats why I needed you to love me pamper me. But look at us now. youre there trying to move on from me while talking to all these other girls. And me pretty much being upset with life. I've never been so low before and now I have hit rock bottom. You said you loved me a lil bit. Atleast I know you love me, but its not the same. I dont attempt to make you fall in love with me yet because I have not learn to take care of myself or love myself yet to be able to take care of you or love you just as much. Maybe Idk whats the meaning of love. And maybe I should stop finding for it. I should busy myself with work while I wait for you to come around once again. Which probably wont happen again. I hope to see you again one day.
I love someone who is an asswipe
Monday, October 28, 2013 @ 4:08 AM

I actually tried my best not to disappoint you by not being a bitch about the fact that you say you miss me and all but still text someone else. or even bitch about her or anything like that. I even tried to be your friend when you were talking about other girl to me. It fucking hurts me to have you even ask about me about stupid stuff like this. The idea of the thought of you thinking of me stooping so low just to get back at you for talking to someone else? You actually thought so lowly of me when I still love you. It disgusts me when you say youre not trying to say its me but the location made it seemed clearer. Why do I even bother on thinking that you would love me the same if you dont think this would offend me. Like what am I suppose to say " I understand if i was you, I would think the same too. since i aam the only person you know who works at suntec and nicoll highway is there too.  " Well news flash, theres other building near nicoll highway too not forgetting the hotels that people who might have known you worked at. Its like someone assuming you hv STD just because you had sex once. I'm fucking butthurt ok. and you wouldnt even apologise. like it seemed ok to offend a handicap. and If you didnt know, I work without my phone anywhere near me. Its in my frickin bag the whole time. While I worked my ass off to get paid. I dont lay around feeling sorry for myself fr not hving money. I find work to do and fucking work. I dont find work. sit and hide in a corner give out hates and get paid. THERES NO FREE WIFI EVEN. So I dont get you or what you want. Because from my sherlock senses I feel like you want me to suffer the whole time of not being able to be without you. Yes I am suffering without you. but you didnt have to rub salt to me deeply cut wound and be an ass about it. You didnt have to do this to me. Dont you want me not to cry because of you anymore? Because I still do cry because of you alittle more than I should lately and I forsee myself crying even more after what you've did. I dont understand getting hate comments or anything like that by anonymous people because I dont own an account to get such and I know why I dont want to have one because I'm afraid I might be like you. Hurt someone just because their ip address is near somewhere they lived and I might  know someone who might do things like this and basically dont want to know what others want to know about me. Despite all this, I still love you. You disappointing, annoying idiot who couldnt care about my feelings. I still fucking hell love you and you dont even want to know who I have said this to but I'm going to say it. I told khai that i still love you.

And I rmmbr you said you didnt want to post a pic of you and her, guess what? you did. twice. Knowingly that I would see it. Youre a big ass fucking asshole that I can never not love. I will always have feeling for you. Even you hate me, you want to kill me. I love you and that will be my final decision and I will never be abled to stop loving you. Even if i talked to other guys, I would still be thinking of you late at night. Not that guy, because oh I've tried it alot. Why do I even cry and feel hurt so much for someone who would never feel the same. NO WHATS SADDER IS THAT I BOUGHT A DRESS TO USE FOR THAT DATE. WHERE I BOUGHT IT? WORK. I ASKED FOR PEOPLE OPINION AT WORK. Yah and you think I hv time to hate when I've been so happy over something so small for since that time you said you wanna see me. I took it as a blessing. But now I'm thinking twice about it. bout you. Please dont make me think twice about it. I really wanted to see you. I really missed you.
What now? I just can't figure it out
Saturday, October 26, 2013 @ 1:40 AM













Im scared that you're lying. I'm scared that you only missed the idea of us together, the memories. You dont really miss me. My heart aches everyday. Idk what to feel.  Idk where to go. You said I looked like as if I moved on from the 2 year relationship like it was nothing. Truth is I havent moved on. I lied to everyone. I lied to you. I wanted to look strong. I wanted to look like I didnt need you in my life. When truth is that I want you to be here with me rn. Ira asked me" and you just let yourself talk to him?" Yeah, I did because I always thought maybe you felt the same. but I doubt so. If so Why do I feel alone. I stopped talking to them all because it made you upset. but youre still talking to her, am I right? I cant help but put my hopes up for u. I shouldnt be crying. You're not mine. I shouldnt care at all. You seem fine. you said you weren't. but hey u seem hellafine. Im back here crying my heart out for you. Waiting for nothing. Its just so useless and dissappointing. I have no one to call because I have no one. The more I try to convince myself Im happy I feel so alone. You dont even understand what alone is salihin. Spending time at work. going home alone to no text. no one to look forward to. no call.   no one. Everyday Idk why I hope you were out my door, my school, my work waiting for me. but i don't think you feel that way for me anymore. idek whats the meaning of us meeting next week for. For all I might know if you'd probably meet me just to leave me even lonelier than I already am. Maybe I was happy tht time when I had those guys. without you maybe. but u came back. Reminding me about things I dont wish to remember. You had whatever you want to hear. but Idk whether you love me, is she better than me ? do you need me? do you really? dont make me wait for nothing. we've been down road before. you will say youre moving on and I will have my heart broken again. I will want to kill myself. Not sleep but die. swallow those pills that kept me up vomitting and shivering. It wasnt me who lied it was you. it was you who lied. I was there not talking to other guys and you were talking to someone new already. Do you even know how much it hurts? Do you?  When I'm finally moving on you came back from nowhere. You called me names. you hurt me so much. Idk what to do anymore. So, why did I let myself talk to you again? We're nothing. I'm nothing. Idek why am I even letting myself get this to me. let it affect my studies. I get a freaking 1.25 do you know Im the1 of the 2 people in class who actually get this grade? Did you? What we're you expecting? I gave you all of me and I didnt get anything back. You asked whether I wanted to see you. Have you forgotten. I wanted to study with you when we already broke up. I felt rejected. I tried to bring you to adv cove but...ugh. Ive been wanting to see you all along. I missed you. even if I was the one who dumped you. I still love you. You regretted talking to me. I regretted giving you my all. If you didn't know, its not easy for a girl to get over some guy that they gave everything to. Even if I get married to someone else, I would still love you. I think you have taken me for granted. I cant be here waiting forever. Im here waiting and you're there getting flattered by her. Im alone here, Im really alone. I really tried occupying myself with work but I cant. You making it worst for me. You could be the death of me sweetie. If you dont feel the same about me stop giving me hopes that this could happen. Just let me go, and I'll let you go.
Dont want to let you down
Monday, June 3, 2013 @ 10:31 PM


 I hate this feeling. . How can anyone be this way? How is it possible that I actually love a person who do all the stuff I hate and Im fine. where I do the same he reacts like im not his significant other. I cant be overprotrective whereas he can. All I want were acts of kindness or atleast some sweet gesture as a boyfriend but I get none but vulgars and nagging on how  unreasonable it is. I cant ask to be pampered. I feel so fucking envious with all the couples around me. I feel single ,why? I feel sooooo in a primary school relationship which only heapens in internet. Which is that mine doesnt even exist online. You want me to be all perfect and be understanding over you.What about me? I am unreasonable. stupid. pathetic. everything i did to you 1 year ago is now annoying. Maybe this shows how much I actually have to leave. I cant believe I'm still here sitting infront of this screeen crying over boys and heartaches. Never have I ever been this desperate for affection from a boy. I dont even think he understand it. Yes, Im childish but Im like this cause I cant do it with mum or pet. I dont have both with me rn. LIKE I DONT HAVE THEM WIMME IN THIS HOUSE. I have to be an adult and all. Its like when I'm not opened to you, you get mad and when I'm now an opened book you find me rather boring and try to close me shut. Lock me out. Only to find me when you need me in somany ways I can never explain. I try so much but youre not making it easier for me. I really fucking miss our honeymoon period. I thought that you would actually accept me the way I am. but I have obviously thought wrong. Evertime I try to connect the stuff or redo the stuff we did last time you get so annoyed. Im so frustrated. Why cant it be like last time. Just becaue of khai? that happened about 2 and a half years ago. Just because I dont want to tell you. I didnt tell you cause I didnt want you to leave me. All i asked was a boyfriend figure, a sweet one for once. Atleast show me that the guy I fell in love with is still in that thick skinned body of yours? Why do you have to be so cold towards me. Yes I know so many things I did made u upset. But so many times I faught with family for you. Yes you stick with me but u didnt have to face the people everyday. I dont want your money. I just want your time. Fetch me from school. Surprise me or something. I even had to ask to be fetched from school on valentines day. It was simple yet you couldnt do it. Whats worst is that it was valentines day. I had to watch my friend get balloons flowers and gifts from their significant other where as mine? I had to go through the day with people hugging and kissing and shit alone. You dk how it felt cause u were home asleep. Tired from idk what. You say youre tired everyday. Me? Im stuck in a course i dont know. Do things I hate most. Crack my brain to draw things on autocad cause its not like paint its some fucking complex shit. I learn maths that I didnt learn during secondary school. use a huge fucking drill. walk ard the school. fuck you your school is not as big as mine. Listen to teacher talk stuff. I am at the point of denial. I dont study and cant do anything. Dyou know how discoraging it is to be at the point of not knowing shit in class. I seriously want to quit. but I'm trying my best not to because if I quit I wasted my time. My half of the year. Everynight I think to myself why cant things be easy on me. I have exams on septmber if I dont pass I hv to stay back. Another waste of time. What makes u think I'm going through my life like eating a piece of cake? you dont even know it that I'm thinking of quiting school rn. Cause youre so full of yourself. I cant even have a joke on you and you become so mad and start blaming me. If I could I want to quit my life as well but I cant cause I'm not even spiritually strong to die. I have no goods in me. The last thing I need is you calling me selfish. You are my boyfriend why cant i be asking for something sweet or do something funny to you. Sometimes I wish you would leave me so that I can atleast move on. Or I wish I could have the balls to leave you to see whether you would come after me or just let me be. From that is the only way I know how much I mean to you cause theres not really much to hang to. I am still here probably because I hope too highly of you. Now youve changed I dont feel the need of being anywhere near you anymore. Youre not my boyfriend. Youre not my bestfriend. i dont want to know you anymore. I dont want to cry every week. I dont want to be unable to say my thoughts even if its over small matters. I have feelings. why cant I tell anymore. I thought you could be different from everyone. As much as  I could I dw to count on you anymore, I think from now on I'll love you a little less. hope a little less. stop dreaming that you could be that same guy again. I know for sure that I'm not going to marry you. If I'm going to marry you, it must be that guy i fell in love with not with this inconsistant cold boy. You broke your promises.  So many. I've been foolish enough to let you be in my life for so long.
What is it with me
Saturday, December 29, 2012 @ 12:12 AM

hi. Probably its the first post for this year. Recently its been super topsy turvey. The only place i find comfort in is at work. Noone knows me well there. Its like somewhere I could start afresh. Its not like i want to be alone and shit its just shit sometimes. Hais. I just dont get it sometimes. Im not me anymore