Im scared that you're lying. I'm scared that you only missed the idea of us together, the memories. You dont really miss me. My heart aches everyday. Idk what to feel. Idk where to go. You said I looked like as if I moved on from the 2 year relationship like it was nothing. Truth is I havent moved on. I lied to everyone. I lied to you. I wanted to look strong. I wanted to look like I didnt need you in my life. When truth is that I want you to be here with me rn. Ira asked me" and you just let yourself talk to him?" Yeah, I did because I always thought maybe you felt the same. but I doubt so. If so Why do I feel alone. I stopped talking to them all because it made you upset. but youre still talking to her, am I right? I cant help but put my hopes up for u. I shouldnt be crying. You're not mine. I shouldnt care at all. You seem fine. you said you weren't. but hey u seem hellafine. Im back here crying my heart out for you. Waiting for nothing. Its just so useless and dissappointing. I have no one to call because I have no one. The more I try to convince myself Im happy I feel so alone. You dont even understand what alone is salihin. Spending time at work. going home alone to no text. no one to look forward to. no call. no one. Everyday Idk why I hope you were out my door, my school, my work waiting for me. but i don't think you feel that way for me anymore. idek whats the meaning of us meeting next week for. For all I might know if you'd probably meet me just to leave me even lonelier than I already am. Maybe I was happy tht time when I had those guys. without you maybe. but u came back. Reminding me about things I dont wish to remember. You had whatever you want to hear. but Idk whether you love me, is she better than me ? do you need me? do you really? dont make me wait for nothing. we've been down road before. you will say youre moving on and I will have my heart broken again. I will want to kill myself. Not sleep but die. swallow those pills that kept me up vomitting and shivering. It wasnt me who lied it was you. it was you who lied. I was there not talking to other guys and you were talking to someone new already. Do you even know how much it hurts? Do you? When I'm finally moving on you came back from nowhere. You called me names. you hurt me so much. Idk what to do anymore. So, why did I let myself talk to you again? We're nothing. I'm nothing. Idek why am I even letting myself get this to me. let it affect my studies. I get a freaking 1.25 do you know Im the1 of the 2 people in class who actually get this grade? Did you? What we're you expecting? I gave you all of me and I didnt get anything back. You asked whether I wanted to see you. Have you forgotten. I wanted to study with you when we already broke up. I felt rejected. I tried to bring you to adv cove but...ugh. Ive been wanting to see you all along. I missed you. even if I was the one who dumped you. I still love you. You regretted talking to me. I regretted giving you my all. If you didn't know, its not easy for a girl to get over some guy that they gave everything to. Even if I get married to someone else, I would still love you. I think you have taken me for granted. I cant be here waiting forever. Im here waiting and you're there getting flattered by her. Im alone here, Im really alone. I really tried occupying myself with work but I cant. You making it worst for me. You could be the death of me sweetie. If you dont feel the same about me stop giving me hopes that this could happen. Just let me go, and I'll let you go.
